


Be Gay, Do Crimes

by medusianAllure



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: A Shit Ton of Side Pairings, All The Ships, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Asexual Bernadetta von Varley, Autistic Caspar von Bergliez, Autistic Linhardt von Hevring, Breeding, Caspar von Bergliez Being an Idiot, Disability headcanons, Everyone Is Gay, Holding Hands, I helicarrier it, M/M, Massage, No Beta We Die Like Glen, Oral Sex, Protests, Rough Sex, Self-Indulgent, The first Pride was a protest, gay kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:29:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28531488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/medusianAllure/pseuds/medusianAllure
Summary: Byleth was fired for creating a Safe Space at Garreg Mach Christian College. A protest errupts organized by their (very gay) class. They stage a kiss in. Shenanigans happen.Or: Caspar and Linhardt are ridiculous boyfriends and end up having sex in Manuela's office Because Reasons. Featuring: ALL THE GAY ALL OF IT. Asexual Bernadetta, my autistic on autistic headcanons.
Relationships: Caspar von Bergliez/Linhardt von Hevring
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Be Gay, Do Crimes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Helpbirdisdying](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helpbirdisdying/gifts).



> I RPed this with my partner because it was fun and my creative juices are depleted. It was fun to make all the same! Hope y'all enjoy the shenanigans and filthy smut.

"Justice for Byleth! Justice for Byleth! Justice for Byleth!" The angry crowd of students chanted. They positively packed the room hallway.

Edelgard, the protest's organizer stepped up on a table and spoke into a microphone graciously handed to her by Hubert. 

"For many, if not all of us, Byleth has been a guiding light. For some of us, our teacher. Their dismissal was unjust and President Rhea's homophobia needs to be stopped. She has not listened to reason. She ignored a petition signed by the majority of the faculty. She failed to respond to publications in every school paper. She refused to meet with us directly. So now, we are going to meet her. 

We stand today outside her office to fight for Byleth like they fought for us. They made their classroom the first Positive Space at Garreg Mach Christian College. Despite the risk it brought to them, their class became a space where we could be safe. It is no wonder so many of us transferred into their class. And for this brave act, President Rhea fired them. Apparently, our existence goes against the teachings of her God. We are here to show her that she is wrong. I hereby launch this protest, this kiss in. For those of you with partners or willing friends, you know what to do. Show President Rhea that love is love. 

We have some safety people wearing red armbands like myself and designated safe kissers wearing glittery tiaras for anyone who wants to participate. FOR BYLETH!"

Caspar's hand was jamming the play button on the loudest, filthiest album of Pansy Division the second Edelgard finished her speech; it'd been all he could do to not interrupt her. This was so exciting! Raucous music from his portable speaker filled the air as students began to flood into the College's administrative offices, giggling and making out as conspicuously as possible. 

"This is so exciting!" he shouted above the noise, directly into Linhardt's ear. Caspar had gleefully donned one of the sparkly tiaras, but it was almost purely for the taller student's benefit. Then again, why wait? Swinging up onto a table himself, he grinned devilishly down at Linhardt before wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's shoulders and pulling him into a messy, ostentatious kiss.

Linhardt really wasn't the sort to get involved in protests. But this was different. Byleth let him pursue his interests and incorporate them into assignments. And they let him sleep in class sometimes. They actually got Linhardt and let him grow into the person he wanted to be and not what his parents wanted him to be. And Byleth was the one who clued both he and Caspar into the fact they had feelings for each other. 

So yes. For once, Linhardt was willing to put effort into something that wasn't psychological research. He even paid attention to Egelgard's words and didn't snooze using the top of Caspar's head as a pillow. He knew what was coming, but it was still surprising for Caspar to pull him into a kiss. But he quickly relaxed into it pulling Caspar more securely in place slotting their mouths together more accurately. He enjoyed kissing Caspar despite how much he complained about his boyfriend's sloppy kisses. It was like he could feel Caspar's power and enthusiasm when their mouths slotted into place. ...After adjustments. 

So lick, lick, lick, suck, suck, suck Unroll the condoms and fuck, fuck, fuck Down on your knees, giving good head Do it on your parents' queen-size bed   
Linhardt broke the kiss to glare at Caspar. "Really? You had to put on their most vulgar songs? President Rhea won't find our cause sympathetic if all she hears is raunchy gay sex..."

"Does this look like we're here to engage in respectful discussion?" Caspar pouted for a moment at losing contact with Linhardt's soft, promising lips, but waved out at their fellow protesters - some now gleefully scrawling slogans like We're here | We're queer | Get used to it on the president's office door. 

"This is a protest, Lin! C'mon, let loose a little!" For emphasis, he started miming along to the most suggestive parts of the song, back to an even more suggestive smile as he locked eyes with his partner. Anything to make that quiet, overly tactful man crack a smile once in a while.

Linhardt sighs as Caspar gets on his knees miming giving Linhardt a blowjob and Linhardt flushes remembering what they'd been up to before coming here. And looking around, he sees a number of people locking lips. 

Hubert and Ferdinand of course in a dark corner. Petra and Dorothea kissing shyly for the first time. Dimitri holding Claude up pressed against the wall, Mercedes holding Annette gently in her arms kissing sweetly, Dedue stooped down cupping Ashe's face their lips pressed together enthusiastically, Lysthithea and Leonie kissing softly, Sylvain nibbling on Felix's ear who's trying to not blush but failing, Lorenz, Ignatz, and Raphael sharing a kiss together with the awkward newness of a recently formed thruple, Hilda and Marianne swaying and dancing to their own tune lips locked in their own little world, Yuri pulling Balthus down into a kiss, and Constance and Hapi giggling and smooching. Everyone looked happy. Their body language was relaxed for the most part so therefore, it was fine. Edelgard was busy running social media and that blush was definitely not from texting Byleth. Bernadette was keeping an eye at one end of the hallway and Ingrid at the other. They were logically, pretty safe. Linhardt pulled Caspar up to his feet and into another kiss, this time, with less teeth.

"Mmmm. See, this is fun..." It was hard to get the smug comment out between moments of locking lips, but kissing Linhardt and being insufferable were both high on Caspar's list of favourite hobbies. He leaned into it, the sweet ecstasy of being surrounded by a crowd yet in their own world together, and had just started to lay kisses along Linhardt's fine jaw when- 

"There was a noise! Everybody there was a noise in the hall!!" Bernadetta's nervous scream cut through the passionate heat he'd just started building up as effectively as a bucket of ice down his shirt. Caspar groaned and disentangled himself as the room erupted into chaos.

Linhardt groaned. Of course Murphy's Law would kick in now. Edelgard sprung into action running for the door which Bernadetta had been guarding. 

"In case we get caught, I want you to know... I love you. Lack of personal space and all." Linhardt said. The entire room was nervously chattering, some of whom eyed the other doors carefully or in Caspar's case, cracking his knuckles, rearing for a fight. It didn't take long for Edelgard to come back with an expression that read of relief. "It's only Professors Hanneman and Manuela heading to their offices. There's no danger. We have our plan in place in case something were to happen. I will keep you all safe if I have to. Now. We have a president to protest. Justice for Byleth!" Edelgard raised her fist in the air to a round of cheers and exclamations. 

"I love my tsundere boyfriend, Felix!" Sylvain exclaimed nuzzling a prickly, pink Felix.

Despite himself, Linhardt's warts-and-all declaration brought a flush to Caspar's cheeks. Squeezing Linhardt's hand in his own in a silent thank you, he danced from foot to foot while Edelgard checked the corridor... No way was he letting anyone here come to harm. Once the coast was clear, everyone else resumed quickly - and while he had to grin at Felix's own grumpy blush, Caspar's attention settled on Bernadetta. 

Even though the threat had just been a false alarm, she was now clearly panicking - leaning against the wall by the door and hyperventilating. Brow drawing down in concern, Caspar made a beeline for her, practically dragging Linhardt along for the ride via their still tightly-clasped hands. Given the slight yelp of surprise, maybe he should have said something first instead of just taking off unannounced while still holding onto him? Oh well, too late now! His anxious classmate barely seemed to acknowledge the pair of them as Caspar pulled up beside her. 

"Hey. Hey you," he nudged, surprisingly gently. "You know I won't let anyone hurt you, yeah? And neither will Linhardt. Well, I guess he'd be better at patching you back up if they did. But the point is, you're safe." Wrapping his free arm around her shoulders in a hug, he leaned down to give his trembling classmate a reassuring, chaste kiss on the forehead. (She was ace, after all.) Not noticing any mirroring on Bernadetta's other side, he side-eyed Linhardt to do the same.

Linhardt was ready to settle down on the floor somewhere with Caspar. Maybe holding hands and kissing occasionally and maybe he could nap on Caspar's shoulder. But no. He sooner had he settled down from the excitement, Caspar was dragging him along to some venture by their clasped hands! It turned out only to be a Bernadetta having a panic attack. Well, this wouldn't do. Linhardt shot his boyfriend a small, grateful smile for spotting her. 

Despite his general disinterest in most people, he couldn't leave Bernie a hyperventilating mess. At first, it was because her shrill screaming hurt his brain and scrambled his thoughts. But the more he talked down her attacks, the more he got to know the strange, sweet, girl underneath. She was utterly fascinating. They ended up studying together quietly and sometimes, Bernie would share fresh baked confections with him. Linhardt placed a hand on Bernie's other shoulder since Caspar's side hug really was more like a glomming hug with how tiny Bernie was. 

"Can you name five purple things around us?" He measured his breathing and encouraged her to do the same. "M-m-my hair! M-m-my d-dress! ... Lorenz's lipstick ! ... A paint smudge on Ignatz's face, no wait, that’s Lorenz’s lipstick again. And... There's some purple on Caspar's tiara?" Bernadetta giggled and poked the glittery hair ornament looking a lot more calm and bemused. 

"Thanks. Both of you. I wanted to help support the protest, but didn't want to do the kissing thing. I'm just useless at everything..."

Watching Linhardt in action with Bernadetta, Caspar couldn't stop himself from grinning like an idiot. He was so good at this! Caspar never remembered tactics like that 5-4-3-2-1 method. Tactics were hard, seriously, but Linhardt was just so calm and reassuring... It kinda made Caspar want to kiss the man again, which of course he immediately proceeded to do even while Bernadetta was still poking his tiara. 

"Aww, don't be hard on yourself! You're still helping," he told her gallantly once he'd released Linhardt 's lips again. "Why don't you take a break for a few minutes? Take some more pictures to help out Edelgard! Pics or it didn't happen, amirite? Here, you can start with the two of us." He deftly swept Linhardt down into his sturdy arms, brushing aside a few straying strands of his green hair with an encouraging wink to Bernadetta before covering the taller man's face with fresh kisses.

Despite still being taller than Caspar even after his growth spurt finally kicked in closing the gap between their heights, being yanked down in a semblance of a dip was... Mildly unpleasant. But he's had a lifetime of Caspar's antics so it was pretty normal. Granted, neither of them was normal. But kissing was nice. Linhardt wrapped an arm and steadied his feet under him to anchor himself more securely in Caspar's grasp. Bernadetta took pictures dutifully with her phone. She had an eye for composition so Linhardt knew they'd be well done. Possibly even sappy. 

One kiss with Linhardt dipped in Caspar's arms - click One with Caspar just a little bit on tiptoe to peck Linhardt on the lips - click One of Linhardt's long-suffering face as Caspar straight-up licked his cheek - click One rather busy frame of a sloppy Hollywood-style make-out session - click One about as elegant as a baby giraffe, as Caspar picked Linhardt up, legs dangling, in a bridal pose - click One blurry pose as Caspar had tried to hang, Spiderman-style, off the back of a chair, only to have it tip in mid-click... And as Caspar was busy trying to parkour his way up into the door frame to try again, Bernadetta's camera frame had instead caught the advancing security forces' gleaming uniforms in the picture.

"CAMPUS SECURITY!" A bunch of people looked to her skeptically, but a greater bunch were either running for the back door or preparing for a fight. President Rhea had extravagant tastes and decked her entire security team in white uniforms. She said it was to symbolize the purity of the church, but students like Claude, Dedue, and Petra knew otherwise. Rhea's beliefs fell within the realms of racist despite having hired Shamir on her security team and hiring Cyril as the lead janitor (instead of giving the boy a scholarship to the school...). Campus Security jogged towards them decked in customized white riot gear, the schools crest emblazoned on their shields. The two well in the lead of the others stopped when they caught sight of the students. 

"Get out of here! We'll distract the others, but you need to leave!" That one, Linhardt recognized Catherine's voice. The other guard reached for Catherine's hand and grabbed it, squeezing and lifting their joined hands up. Aaaaaah. Linhardt realized they were together. He caught sight of Shamir behind the glare of her helmet. So, the rumours from the gay grapevine were true. Their silent support of Byleth was clear. 

"Hey Caspar, Bernie. Maybe we should do as they say and leave."

"What the-" Caspar was so caught up in the fun of the impromptu photo shoot that he'd almost forgotten their risky situation. One look down the hall was enough to convince him, though. "

Shit, we've gotta go!" he shouted, starting to tug at Linhardt's hand... ...only to realize that Bernadetta wasn't moving. "Oh no, it's one of her fainting fits," Caspar groaned, desperately waving his hand in front of her face. "Bernie! Move! They're gonna be all over us!"

Everything was in chaos. Lorenz was guiding his partners out of the building to a private car. He'd managed to order a second which picked up the girls from his class. Ingrid stood by the back door where she'd been guarding ushering people through. Petra had Dorothea on her back running for their dorm room. Sylvain had to carry Felix away with the help of Ingrid on Dimitri's orders to stay safe. Dimitri and Claude were staying behind with Edelgard to cover for everyone else. Dedue followed reluctantly behind Ashe, who knew a good hiding spot to stay in bringing along Mercedes and Anette. Yuri picked a lock and took his crew down a stairwell to somewhere used by maintenance. Ferdinand was going to stay, but was convinced by a glare from Edelgard to leave. Hubert finished frying all the security cameras and sending launching the attack on Garreg Mach's website redirecting pages to the donation pages of queer churches and the anti-discrimination in workplaces legal information page. The couple absconded from there. 

Linhardt grasped his boyfriend's hand and said, "Pick up Bernie. We've got to go and get her somewhere safe. The infirmary!"

Caspar didn't have to be told twice. The first campus security guards had almost made it to the door, even with Catherine and Shamir 'accidentally' slowing down their pace, and Edelgard had made no bones about what would happen to anyone fool enough to get within arms' reach of the guards. Expulsion from the school was one of the lighter possible consequences - not that Felix seemed to care much, given the lemmeat'em! cries from over Sylvain's shoulder disappearing into the distance. Actually, that was a great idea. With a grunt, Caspar bent and hefted Bernadetta's unresisting body over his own shoulder before twining the fingers of his other hand firmly in Linhardt's. 

"Let's get out of here!" The corridors of Garreg Mach must have been designed to resist a siege, Caspar soon decided, as they rounded corner after corner to reach one of the side exits. Linhardt was leading, with an unerring sense of direction, but unfortunately he was also quickly flagging. As sunlight poured through the final door just fifty feet ahead, the infirmary building within sight, Caspar nearly ran into his boyfriend as the man's steps slowed to a crawl. 

"Oh no no, not you too!" Caspar cried in mixed exasperation and worry as Linhardt bent double to catch his breath, sides heaving and hair askew. With the sound of heavy footsteps pounding just behind them, Caspar knew what he had to do... Bracing himself, he shifted Bernadetta's weight fully to his left arm and scooped up Linhardt with his right, throwing the taller man over his shoulder as elegantly as a sack of potatoes. A very gangly sack of potatoes, at that, and immediately protesting. 

"Save your breath for running!" Caspar grunted, getting his balance settled before lumbering for the exit. He had to turn sideways to avoid smacking Linhardt's feet and Bernie's forehead into the doorframe, but then they were in the free air - and with a last wild dash, Caspar kicked open the infirmary door and collapsed by the desk.

Despite Linhardt's planning and energy to leave, a runner he was not. He thought it would be cute to run off together like they were a gay Bonnie and Clyde. Be gay, do crimes, right? What he forgot about was that the last time he ran was in gym class as a teen. ...Which he usually forged doctors notes to get out of. He needed to be carried. Unceremoniously. But it was better than getting caught. Upon arriving at the infirmary, Manuela appeared to be patching up Alois. ...Who is part of security... They both turn to the trio of students, Alois speaks up. 

"Bernadetta! Is she okay?" Upon closer inspection, Alois wasn't in uniform so he must be off duty and not know about the protest. He must also be close to Bernadetta to know her by name and express concern. So Linhardt piped replied before Caspar could say something off. 

"N-" Linhardt had 'casually' draped his arm around Caspar's shoulders as Alois came in view, and 'accidentally' put his hand over Caspar's mouth just enough to muffle him. He mumbled into it for several moments anyway, wriggling, before realizing that this was probably an on-purpose thing. Subtlety! Right! Caspar instead focused on nodding along enthusiastically to the story that Linhardt and Manuela were making up on the spot.

"She had another panic attack and fainted. Could you take her back to her room?" Linhardt managed to utter, still catching his breath. 

"Oh! Of course. You kids were so kind to bring her in like this. You sure you don't want to leave her here with Manuela?" Alois replied completely unaware of the looks being shared between Manuela, Caspar, and Linhardt. 

"Uncle... Alois...?" Bernadetta said while coming to. 

"Bernadetta! These fine, young boys brought you to the infirmary. Would you like me to take you home?" 

"Sure. Um... You're not mad at me, right?" Bernadetta asked, turning to the boys with a question in her eyes. 

"Of course not! It's not your fault you fainted. Do you need me to stay with you to make sure you're feeling okay?" Alois asked. Linhardt nodded subtly.

"S-sure! I'm still a little unsteady on my feet. Can we get some tea?" Bernadetta asked. 

"Of course!" Alois took Bernadetta's hand and was about to take her out the front door when Manuela spoke. 

"Could you leave by the back door? I'm expecting more patients in a moment." So Alois and Bernadetta left by the back door. No sooner had they left, Manuela turned to the boys. "Stay here for the next few hours. I'll keep security distracted." She looked sadly between them, her history of singleness heavy in her gaze, but left unsaid.

It was only as the back door shut firmly behind Alois that Caspar's mouth was released, prompting a heavy sigh - and, of course, reaching up to take Linhardt's face in his hands and kiss him thoroughly. 

"That was genius!" he crowed. "I can't believe that worked! And you're a saint, Manuela." He glanced over at her, only to see such an obvious expression of envy at their kiss that even he couldn't miss it. 

"Aww, Manuela. You deserve someone to kiss, too. You really oughta broaden your horizons. Have you talked to Dorothea?" 

"She's with Petra!" Manuela objected immediately, making a face. "And she's far too young..." 

"Fine then. Plenty of women in the sea," Caspar grinned. "Just think about it. Your breakups make me sad." As Manuela drew breath to continue defending her supposed heterosexuality, more footsteps sounded on the path to the front door. 

"Enough!" she hissed instead, shooing them down a hallway lined with numbered doors. "Into the back rooms with you. I'll deal with the guards." 

"Thank you, Big Titty Mama Bear!" Caspar called to her back as Linhardt (now quite fed up with this) dragged him, in turn, towards the safety of an exam room.

As Linhardt and Caspar scurried into one of the recovery rooms, they could hear quite clearly, the sound of Manuela's voice. "Oh, what can I do for you today, boys?" Manuela chuckles. They can't hear what security says, but Manuela responds. 

"You're looking for some escaped criminals? There's none here." Then, "Really now. You want to search my rooms? I have patients resting and you will NOT disturb them. You may search out here, but my patients are my priority. There are no criminals in there." 

The screech of tables being dragged across the floor and Manuela swearing drifted into the room where the boys hid, but that was it. Then, "they're gone. But it's not safe to come out yet. I'm closing and locking the door and leaving for an hour. ...There's sex supplies and cleaning products under the sink. If you choose to fuck in there, clean up after your damn selves. I'm not your maid. ...And I'm not old enough to be your mother either!" 

Linhardt smiled softly when he heard the door slam close a little louder than necessary. "For saving me, you deserve a little TLC. Thank you, Caspar, for keeping Bernie and I safe."

It was a damn good thing that their door was closed, because Caspar snickered full volume all through Manuela's ploys to keep security at bay. 

"This is hilarious! They're so gullible!" he whispered to Linhardt, who had immediately stretched out on the exam table and closed his eyes. Soon, Manuela's somewhat salty all-clear put his mind fully at ease (and was met by full on laughter). 

He took a moment to check Wire, and yep - everyone had made it out safely and checked in properly. Their hashtag #BringBylethBack was blowing up already. A job well done. Caspar went to stretch, realizing he'd still been in a fighting stance for who knew how long, and immediately moaned in discomfort. His shoulders and back were stiffening up rapidly from hauling two grown adults. 

"Linhardt..." he whined hopefully. "That TLC sounds really good right now. You're welcome for the rescue, but you'll be extra welcome if you work on my back... Manuela did say we can do what we want if we don't make a mess."

Linhardt guided Caspar to the cot and made Caspar take off his shirt. And pants. With Caspar laying on the cot face-first, Linhardt began warming up Caspar's body. 

Since Caspar was in Kinesiology and a general athlete, Linhardt picked up massage (real massage) through a referral from the somatic therapy program in his department. His hands stroked along Caspar's built shoulders and back activating the muscles within. Listening for feedback, his strokes along Caspar's traps became more forceful. Linhardt lacked strength, so he relied more on his height and weight to put pressure to really get into his boyfriend's aching muscles. He moved to the deltoids stretching and kneading the muscles back into alignment. He leaned forward kissing each of Caspar's biceps reverently. There was something about arms that really did it for him. Especially Caspar's. He even worked on Caspar's hands getting into the purlicue and stretching each of Caspar's fingers. He kissed each one reverently as he finished. Linhardt still had much work to do. 

He dug once again into Caspar's traps, but this time, between the shoulder blades and the spine. His fingers ran along Caspar's spine stretching out really working hard on relaxing and undoing knots of tension found in his boyfriend's back. Lastly, he really leaned over putting extra pressure into Caspar's lumbar muscles. The lower back really was the most stressed from all the sitting and writing up papers they all had to do. He pulled Caspar's underwear down revealing his muscled glutes. His sitting muscles required a lot of extra pressure too. It was pretty tiring on Linhardt, but the pay off for his hard work was always worth it. Caspar took very, very good care of him. 

"Flip over. I need to finish with your front." Linhardt murmured.

Linhardt's skilled, loving ministrations to so many areas of Caspar's body were gradually shifting the stiff and aching descriptor away from his muscles and into... other things. The soft moans and murmurs elicited whenever a particularly knotted muscle group got targeted expertly by long and dexterous fingers were from an equal mix of pain and pleasure, and which kind of pleasure was truly beginning to blur. Caspar writhed slowly on the table under Linhardt's hands, barely conscious after the first few minutes of anything but the need to get that deft, warming pressure everywhere. 

By the time he was ordered to turn over, it was all he could do to mumble his appreciation and cobble together the coordination of his arms and legs. He'd barely registered that Linhardt had tugged away his underwear, but the sudden cold air as he settled onto his back made the effects of the ongoing massage very visible. ...and jiggly. And it was so unfair that at this precise moment, the massage had turned Caspar's verbal centres into putty. All he got out through uncooperative lips was a kind of pleading incoherence, followed by a twitch of his hips that he hoped would communicate what needed Linhardt's attention the most…

Linhardt smiles, bemused with how much control he had over Caspar. His hands felt sore from the effort and really needed a nap, but it was worth the effort. His hands did their thing pulling and pressing into the front of Caspar's trap muscles and running along the sides of the collar bone. He then moved onto Caspar's impressive pecs. 

His boyfriend, being the second son, worked a lot harder than his older brother to try and carve an identity for himself. So Caspar literally carved his body. His pectoral muscles were well defined from years of being a hyperactive kid, athletic teen, and hardworking adult. Linhardt kneaded them with the palm of his hand only minimally teasing his boyfriend's dusky nipples. His palms reverently rubbed and stretched Caspar's tight abs that he complained weren't as tight and ripped as Raphael's, but Linhardt just saw the hard work that they were. 

There was a very obvious muscle that really wanted work tenting Caspar's black boxers obscenely, but Linhardt wasn't ready to go there yet. He needed to work on Caspar's hamstrings pulling and kneading on the big muscles knowing full well how he sometimes brushed against Caspar's flagpole-hard cock. At last, he wordlessly pulled off Caspar's underwear only to run a finger along Caspar's inguinal canals just out of reach of the groin. But refused to actually touch Caspar as both of them wanted.

Caspar's perception of time slowed to a crawl as Linhardt continued to work him over as thoroughly as he might study for an exam. As an athlete, he knew how to make his body move, but Linhardt had developed an intimate knowledge of muscle groups and tendons, and how to set them right after injury... And Caspar's proclivity for high-risk stunts gave him plenty of reason to practice. The man had claimed it was because the constant whining about strains and DOMS interfered with his reading sessions, but Caspar drank it up as the silent affection he knew it was. It also meant, for better or worse, that Linhardt had mapped the most sensitive parts of his skin in a kind of obscene anatomical study. 

Trial and error had taught exactly how close he could brush without accidentally taking an over-stimulated shot to the face while leaning over Caspar's hips, and - to Caspar's awe and annoyance - how to compensate perfectly for his increasingly desperate twitches and squirms. It wasn't like Linhardt could create a true paralysis effect with his hands, but it still took every gasping ounce of Caspar's willpower to jackknife himself forward and wrap his arms and legs around the other man's body rather than succumb as a mewling pile of goo. 

" Either suck it or bend over, " he growled into Linhardt's ear, (painlessly) and effortlessly pinning his wrists for emphasis. "You're killing me."

Linhardt was happy to continue teasing Caspar and was just about to begin touching his boyfriend's throbbing, needy cock when Caspar's patience was done. He forgot that Caspar wasn't always a bunch of flailing limbs. He found himself against the wall beside the cot arms pinned by one of Caspar's. And he could feel the incessant hardness of Caspar's need grinding against his stomach. It sent a shiver of want down his spine. After a dangerous situation, he had energy to burn for once. And not on research. 

So he quipped, "Why not both? I'm sure after the protest, you have some aggression to get out. As long as you're doing all the work, I trust you'll take care of both of our needs. ...Although we will probably have to go home to take care of all of it."

Given that Caspar's concept of a 'refractory period' was either 'some kind of time out?' or 'is that from trigonometry? sounds fake', Linhardt probably wasn't wrong about needing to continue this back in the dorm... And while he could always just wait, Manuela had given them license for a full hour, and Caspar was about as patient as he was bookish. 

"Don't doubt me," Caspar panted, rutting harder against the other man's hip through his breeches. Without a fight to cap off the protest, he had extra energy to burn; and with Linhardt in his literal grasp like this, his blood was beginning to run even hotter - as if he'd needed more. He dragged Linhardt's arms down to bring his face within reach, and caught his lips roughly with teeth and tongue before encouraging him even further down.

Linhardt accepted Caspar's urging enthusiastically. Perhaps the adrenaline actually made him alert for once. He just straight up pulled his boyfriend's boxers down the rest of the way avoiding getting smacked in the face by Caspar's heavy cock. And his hands wrapped around the base holding it in place before taking the head deep into his mouth. This would be a bumpy ride, but that's what his hands were for. And taking the edge off for the second round.

A half-breathed cry of want escaped Caspar's lips as Linhardt finally grasped his needy cock, fairly pulsing at the firm touch. He ran his fingers affectionately through the man's silky green hair, bracing himself for what was coming next, and even still found himself wrenching forward uncontrollably at the obscene sensation of Linhardt's tongue wrapping around his shaft. With a grunt, he hauled the pair of them around 180 degrees to let himself lean precariously against the wall as Linhardt began in earnest.

Linhardt suckled and licked around the head letting out a moan to egg Caspar on. His hands gripped and stroked the base while also helping to make sure Caspar's uncontrollable thrusts didn't force the head into his throat. He looked up at Caspar now in a more comfortable position with Caspar leaning against the wall and himself on his knees steadily ignoring the hard, cold tile under him. 

He knew how he looked like this: wide eyed with his lips wrapped obscenely around Caspar's cock. Linhardt accepted the hair pulling and messing. It was a better stim for Caspar than tapping. And he liked a little of the pain. The part he liked best about sex with Caspar was how much his boyfriend restrained himself from really hurting Linhardt. But also being rough enough to leave him pleasantly aching and sometimes even bruised that he could sleep easily.

After a few moments, Caspar was able to take a shuddering deep breath and slow down into a steadier, shallower rhythm. 

"You're so goddamn hot like this," he panted, genuine in his admiration. Gently he reached a little further, to stroke that delicate jaw and smoothe across that high forehead, already beading with the sweat of exertion. He was oddly lucky that Linhardt knew he couldn't lie convincingly to save his life - when he gave compliments, he meant them wholeheartedly. And the man was gorgeous like this, curled up at his feet, giving him the sacrifice of not only his energy but the very thing that gave Linhardt such strength: speaking so articulately. Meeting Caspar here at this level of just feeling, focusing on his pleasure alone, meant more than he'd ever manage to verbalize. Between that, and- He groaned again as Linhardt tugged more aggressively at the skin around and just below the head, sending fresh waves of blazing heat through his groin and flooding through his entire body. 

"Yes, more of- keep going, fuck yes please that thing you're fuccck doing with your t-tongue aaahhh-" Babbling and incoherent, Caspar reflexively buried his fingers in Linhardt's hair as he buried his suddenly shooting cock deeper into his mouth. Gasping and wide-eyed himself, he pulled back to a kinder depth as quickly as he could, still shuddering with orgasm and slumping against the wall. "Heh. Sorry... A-are you okay?"

Linhardt, having experience with this very habit by now and expecting it, took the sudden push deep into his mouth without much effort. All he had to do was push back with his hands to prevent accidental throat fucking. 

It happened once when they first tried having sex, but never again. It made Linhardt feel good that he could make his boyfriend lose control like this, and now do it without any unpleasantness. He swallowed each spurt of cum that Caspar shot down his throat sucking extra hard as he pulled off to overstimulate Caspar's nerves more. Upon disengaging, Linhardt's lips were a little redder from the effort and his hair was a little mussed up. His hair ribbon was also loose and barely holding his hair together. 

Linhardt got up carefully, stretched, and flopped on the cot and yawned. "Well, that was fun. Think you can do the rest?" He gave Caspar another curious, soft smile of interest.

And that was part of the appeal of specifically fucking Linhardt, and not just getting blowjobs: trying to crack that sleepy collectedness. Even with sides still heaving as he recovered from that last dirty trick, Caspar nearly pounced on the cot and leaned in to claim those reddened lips - he didn't care, nor did he need anything but that yawn of Linhardt's to spur him onwards. 

"What, you think I need a break? Who do you think I am?" he responded with a wink, stretching to tug playfully at the loosened ribbon before running his hands affectionately down his boyfriend's cheeks and fine-built chest. "I'm just glad you're okay. And not bored. Oh hey, do you have any lube on you?"

Lindhardt felt his heart flutter just a little seeing Caspar overly confident and full of energy. It was nice having someone who could just do things to take care of him. Linhardt pointed towards the sink/cabinet combo that was found in every clinic. "Manuela said there is lube in the cabinet. I suspect it's contraband lube. You know how President Rhea feels about pre-marital sex let alone gay sex."

Caspar stuck his tongue out and made a rude face in the general direction of the administrative offices before leaping over to the cupboard. His legs were still a little wobbly, but if he could handle relay races and shot put competitions, he could keep his feet after an orgasm. Throwing the doors open, he quickly sent a cascade of random supplies to the floor in search of his prizes. 

"What the heck! I don't see anything in here... Guess we'll have to make due with medical lube, that's no fun-" Just as he was about to give up, a pile of masks and gloves slid out of position to reveal a small box marked "Safer Sex Supplies" in Manuela's handwriting. Caspar let out a cry of triumph, as if discovering hidden magical treasure, and trotted back with one hand already rummaging excitedly through the box. 

"Dental dams... whoops, guess we could've used those. Gloves, not bad - Yes! Condoms! Now I can't get your ass pregnant!" He grinned and rubbed Linhardt's hip possessively. "And - ooh, there's like five kinds of lube in here. Even flavoured stuff. President Rhea would lose her mind! Whaddaya wanna use?"

Linhardt sighed and rolled his eyes. "You know I can't get pregnant no matter how many times you try. -Not that I don't mind the trying- Just to remind you, we've been tested and we've never been with anyone else before we got together. I haven't had sex with anyone else and neither have you. Do you want to try one of them and see what it's like since we have condoms here?"

"I know, I know." Caspar was already rummaging again as Linhardt asked, foil-wrapped packets scattering to the floor, and quickly developed the dangerous gleam in his eye that meant he'd discovered something novel. 

"Oooh, lett's try this one!" Not thinking to describe it, he ferreted out a few compatible lube packets before haphazardly shoving the rest of the box onto the nearest chair. The interest of trying something new was already adding to his renewed excitement. He climbed back onto the cot, this time straddling Linhardt easily, and teased surprisingly gentle kisses along his neck as he tangled his fingers with his partner's long digits. "You ready?"

Linhardt nods, while curious about what Caspar had found. He tried to catch a peek of it, but the mass of Caspar's body hid it. "You'll have to strip me of my school uniform first. And don't tear them off like you did with the set last month. I'm lucky Bernadetta is such a good seamstress."

Caspar's blush, as he remembered the distinct sound of buttons popping and expensive fabric shearing, wasn't nearly as guilty as it deserved to be. Brattily nipping at Linhardt's nose as he started to undo his dress shirt properly did nothing to communicate repentance, either. Still, it was only a few moments before the second discarded uniform had joined Caspar's on the floor, and the marvel of Linhardt's lithe frame was finally his to drink in. Caspar had a bad habit of 'looking' with his hands, always had, but here it was a plus. Smoothing his hands across his boyfriend's shoulders became a slide to his chest, and a feather-light brush against pale nipples teased more to come. 

"I want you good and warm for me," he purred, leaning close enough for his breath to tickle Linhardt's ear. "Try not to think about theory for a minute, okay? Just relax." He followed up with a round of kisses, these ones lingering and obscene enough to spontaneously combust poor Bernadetta's social media accounts if she'd been taking pictures now, and used them to help lay Linhardt down softly before turning him over and tugging away his briefs in a single movement. All right, two movements, Linhardt's legs were way too lanky to make that look smooth, but who was counting? Caspar couldn't name all the muscles he stroked on the way from the other man's neck to the small of his back, but all he needed was the satisfaction of the little noises his touch could create. (And making sure that they weren't snores.) 

It was an unusual exercise in patience for him, but he hated people who hurt others carelessly and refused to be like that himself. Tearing open a packet of lube, he liberally doused his fingers before stroking them down the crack of Linhardt's gently curving ass; not-so-secretly hoping to elicit at least a murmur of anticipation from his soft-spoken partner before going any further.

Linhardt enjoyed all the attention after all the work he put into massaging Caspar. He was pretty tired from it in fact. But not sleepy. He luxuriated in Caspar's kisses and touches awakening his flesh as it was revealed and worshipped. Finally naked, his skin pimpled from the cool air and anticipation. He spread his legs invitingly watching Caspar slowly work him open from behind lidded eyes. It had only been a couple hours since their last round so he was a little slick with residual lube and cum. But the addition of more lube and a reminder to his muscles to relax was helpful. He hummed happily waiting for Caspar to fill him up or whatever he had in mind.

Seeing and hearing Linhardt so content to spread himself open, like a present for him to open, made Caspar's breath hitch with desire. He smoothed his fingers lower, massaging little circles until he could feel his fingertips start to slip in; grinning and kissing Linhardt's belly to soothe the reflexive clench before sliding a little further. 

Linhardt wasn't nearly nice enough to himself, in Caspar's opinion - all those long nights reading, sometimes signing up for extra homework like some kind of intellectual masochist... so it was especially rewarding to give him something to feel, something to pull even the slightest gasps from those handsome lips of his. A little too rewarding to concentrate well... Caspar could feel his own erection hardening again in anticipation, and to buy himself time stroked at it with his free hand while continuing to finger Linhardt fully open. 

Given their morning shenanigans, it wasn't long before he was sure Linhardt could handle him - and good thing, he was panting just as hard with the effort of not ramming himself deep enough to make the man squeal. Caspar reached to squeeze Linhardt's hand, accidentally smearing it with pre-cum. 

"Tell me how it feels," he reminded his boyfriend, vastly curious what this novelty condom might do. It said "icy hot" on the wrapper; menthol maybe? A few more kisses while he unrolled the toothpaste-smelling latex onto himself and twitched through lubing it up, and then - not hearing any sudden objections- leaned forward hungrily and pressed his unusually prepared cock against Linhardt's opening.

Linhardt felt the familiar pressure against his opening and relaxed himself breathing deep. He felt the head stretch him wide open and slowly slide deep, stuffing him full. But something felt a little off. It took Linhardt a moment to realize... His ass felt tingly and cool like someone had coated Caspar's cock in mint. It was unfamiliar sensory hell. In a bad way. His eyes widened and he yelled, "pull it out!"

Something seemed a little off to Caspar as he rolled his hips forward, but he at first chalked it up to the leftover excitement of the protest - followed by how thoroughly Linhardt had sucked him dry not even fifteen minutes ago. Then the other man started to tense under him, and to his shock a sensation began in Caspar's groin that could only be described as trying to fuck a snowman. Joining Linhardt in an incoherent yell of nopenopenope, Caspar yanked himself back out to rip the offending condom off and toss it to the floor like it was cursed. The cold burn continued, though, and even after trying to rub whatever it was off of himself, the skin of his cock soon felt oddly... numb. 

"What the actual fuck," Caspar swore, poking experimentally at his own dick. Strangely enough, it was still sensitive - maybe even moreso... just not to light touch along the skin. It felt weirdly like touching someone else, or getting touched by someone else - and despite himself, a new curiosity began to grow... 

"Guess I'm getting you preggers after all," he joked, returning and cuddling his boyfriend's poor, offended ass to make sure that Linhardt was okay. "No condom for us. I'm so sorry, I thought that would feel way better! Try again? Normal lube this time?"

Linhardt shuddered in part relief, part horror at what they tried. Well, that was something they definitely weren't doing again. But perhaps they might try other condoms at some point to see what they're like. Definitely nothing like the cooling condom ever again though. He still felt a little numb deep inside. Hopefully, it'd go away soon. 

"For the last time, you can't get me pregnant no matter what you try to do. This is part of why we don't strictly need to use condoms. I think we can agree we both like the mess." Linhardt stated firmly.

"Good, you're okay. If you can science at me, you're okay." Caspar stuck his tongue out playfully as he now had to guide himself in by hand... there wasn't much else to go on, damn that numbing stuff. 

"And hey, challenge accepted! Maybe it's special magic fertility numbing gel." He was just joking, but for some reason the idea stuck in his head... Well, why not pretend? It'd be fun to breed Linhardt a little harder than usual. Especially since without the distraction of the usual complex sensation of Linhardt's warmth against his skin, the pure jolt of sexual stimulation as the head pushed open his boyfriend's rim was already leaving him gasping.

This time around, Caspar filling him up with dick didn't have any surprises. Linhardt was still a little numb from the effects of the "cool" condom, but it would probably fade soon. All he felt was the aching stretch of having Caspar's meaty cock in him. He moaned softly as Caspar hilted in place, balls deep in his ass. Linhardt clenched around his boyfriend experimentally. At this point with how often they had sex, he didn't need nearly so much time to adjust. 

"This isn't that Ike and Soren A/B/O doujinshi that you bought. But fine. Whatever helps you sleep at night. I'm here for some mutual pleasure. Are you going to wear me out again or what?"

The affectionate goading plus the sudden tightening around his swollen cock were too much to ignore. With something approaching a snarl of released need, Caspar grasped Linhardt's shoulders with powerful fingers and finally began the voracious rutting he'd craved this whole time. 

"Still don't- understand how this - cures your insomnia," he panted between thrusts, still vainly trying to decide if the partial numbness was pleasurable or infuriating. "Gonna fill you up like a brood mare is what, see if that - hahhh - helps you sleep..."

Linhardt wasn't sure if he wanted to be into Caspar's antics, or to facepalm. But feeling Caspar ramming against a spot near his prostate felt amazing. Linhardt moaned genuinely and grasped Caspar's shoulders in return just to have something to hold onto. 

"Dopamine... From... The orgasm... Helps... Me... Sleep!" He managed to stutter as he was awash with the rough, passionate fucking his boyfriend gave him. Just how he needed it. Caspar was really sweet knowing how to take care of him.

"Fucking... psychology! How do you have an answer for everything?" Caspar shook his head, but in admiration as much as anything. He'd long ago accepted that he was the idiot in the relationship... it just meant that he had permanent license to act like one, just like Lindardt had permanent license to be an insufferable NERD. It helped that he was so damn attractive, especially right now... mouth starting to hang open, eyes even wider and softer than usual, ponytail a lost cause as Caspar pounded the man into the cot beneath them. 

"Gonna - take you so hard you can't remember which theory is - which." Leaning in to catch Linhardt's lip between his teeth in a rough kiss had the side benefit of delaying whatever clever response his boyfriend might be concocting.

Words were scarce beyond how good it felt to have Caspar wrecking him like this. With each thrust, it made Linhardt harder and throb with the need to cum. It wouldn't take more than a few strokes to get him off at this point. He was about to comment about the lack of attention to his own need when Caspar's lips were on his again. Teeth and tongue and passion. Linhardt moaned into his boyfriend's lips. 

His hands carded their way into Caspar's hair tugging on the locks that weren't kept buzzed. Incidentally, this haircut was definitely a lot more attractive than the spiky mess Caspar sported when they were teens.

Linhardt's wordless moans were music to Caspar's ears, spurring him on like a stallion straining for something beyond a full gallop. Every slap of their bodies together pressed Linhardt's twitching cock between their stomachs, or more accurately between Caspar's defined abs and Linhardt's non-existent ones, but that wouldn't grant the friction he'd need to finish. Showing off even more by maintaining his pace and force with half the purchase, the shorter man let go of his boyfriend's shoulder and shifted his grip down to that needy, leaking dick. 

"Want this, don't you? C'mon, let me lick you clean after, get us filthy-" Caspar really did revel in getting messy, and this was no exception - rubbing Linhardt's cock as desperately as he fucked into him, chasing that orgasm he was honestly surprised hadn't already come...

It didn't take much effort at all as expected. Linhardt wasn't very vocal, but having Caspar's hands around his dick elicited a low groan out of him. Going against his typically lazy character, he bucked once, twice, thrice into Caspar's hand before he saw stars. Cum spattered all over Caspar's hand and a little oozed down collecting in his belly button. He had no words, no quips as his mind was wiped clean of thought leaving just white-hot pleasure.

Seeing Linhardt fall apart in his arms was the last straw for Caspar. Moaning in ecstasy, his last thrusts became wild and uncoordinated before his orgasm flooded hot cum into his partner and fire through his own nerves. It took a few heavy, shuddering breaths and a lot of blinking before he remembered to swipe his fingers through the sticky mess clinging to both of them and lap at it with all the enthusiasm he'd give a fancy ice cream cone.

It took a good minute for Linhardt to come to. Dopamine flooded his system and he lazily looked up at Caspar. He smiled up at his boyfriend hunting for the words to say. 

"Good job. I love you, Caspar. I could fall asleep like this right now." He could feel Caspar soften inside him a little and cooling cum ooze out. Maybe for once his boyfriend was tired out too and they could nap together. But this wasn't their bed. Then he remembered where they were. "Wait. Manuela will be back soon and we're a mess. Oh no..."

Still a little dazed himself, Caspar smiled lopsidedly down at his boyfriend, his face pure affection. Absent-mindedly, he reached between them and stuffed the cum leaking past his cock back into Linhardt's ass as best he could. 

"Not getting out of this that easily, Linhardt. If only, eh? Rhea would have a stroke if you had a gayby on campus. Heh. I love you too..." He was busy punctuating his comments with tired kisses when the state of the room finally caught his attention. He'd strewn medical supplies all over the floor... and tossed safer sex packages everywhere... the dirty, wasted condom stared at him accusingly, and as he gingerly pushed himself up he realized that, adding insult to injury, he'd just smeared a mix of his and Linhardt's semen onto the cot. "Whoops." 

What a way to end a protest.


End file.
